How to Last Longer Sex

It used to be a very well known phrase on British TV. The test card (as seen in the accompanying You Tube clip) would appear on the screen often, either during the day or at the end of the evening’s broadcasting in the days before Britain had round the clock programming.

The test card was used to help viewers adjust the colour and picture quality on their screen. The longest running of the test cards was known as Test card F; it ran from 1967 till 1983, and has recently been brought back for viewers to adjust HD TV screen on the HD Channel. Carol Hersee, the little girl in the picture, is now 51 years of age!

The music was supplied by top notch bands and orchestras from Germany under the guidance of BBC band leaders. They had to work in Germany for copyright reasons.

For most people, the appearance of the test card and some music was a strong signal to go and find something better to do. If it was the end of broadcasting for the day, that ‘something better to do’ usually entailed going upstairs to the bedroom to make beautiful music together.

To last as long in the sack as the test card and some music, you have to train yourself. The Male Massager is the world’s first fully automatic sex stamina training unit. This remarkable machine is not only extremely enjoyable to use, but also a terrific way to build sex stamina.

The silver beads ride up and down the full length of your manhood exposing you to the extreme sensations of a one on one sexual experience. With regular sessions you can endure even the most powerful sensation of the sex act and keep going, and going – rather like the test card and some music.

Check it out at www.malemassager.com

It was all so much more straightforward in the 7^th Earl of Cardigan’s day. Men were men and women were proud of it. Nowadays, men have it much tougher.

On the one hand, as has been well chronicled, many women want a sizable degree of independence and a salary equal to men. They expect the man to play a 50/50 role in the home, sharing the household chores, and the rearing of the kids. In other words, they want parity on all the important issues.

On the other hand, you get the type of sentiment expressed in the picture accompanying this article. And with women, life is like a box of chocolates; you never know which type you’re going to get; one which is relaxed about her sexuality and wants you to take control, or one that wants to do all the controlling.

There’s only one thing of which you can be sure. If it comes down to divorce, the woman is going to get the kids, the house and most of the cash. That is unless you really do have a penis that shoots money to be able to afford yourself the best divorce lawyer in town.

So in these troubling times of mixed messages and differing agendas, it’s comforting to know that, as a man, you can do something about it. And that is, shut the door on all of it and enjoy some quality time by yourself with your Male Massager.

The Male Massager is the first fully automatic machine designed to help you last longer and build vital stamina for the bedroom. If you are satisfying your woman in the bedroom, you might find that a lot of other departments start to fall neatly into place.

Coming up short during sex on a regular basis leads to frustration, lack of satisfaction, and sometimes hostility on the part of the unsatisfied woman. By enjoying yourself with the powerful penile sensations afforded by the Male Massager, you will build control and stamina for your love making. You’ll be able to last longer and perform stronger. Your penis will not turn to chocolate, nor will it shoot money, but if you can master the art of how to last longer sex, you’ll definitely win the war, even if you do lose the odd battle.

James Thomas Brudenell, the 7^th Earl of Cardigan, knew a thing or two about how to last longer sex, and indeed, how to last longer in the high esteem of the public eye.

It was largely the fault of the 7^th Earl of Cardigan that the disastrous charge of the Light Brigade, the finest cavalry in the world at the time, occurred in Balaclava in 1854. However, having survived the charge himself, the Earl returned to Britain a hero.

Dispatches had reached British shores of the glorious but ultimately disastrous charge straight into enemy cannon fire, and the Earl of Cardigan was able to dine out on the story as a hero in the eyes of the public for many months before any of his men returned and started putting a few inconvenient facts right. Those were the days, no 24 hour television to monitor your every move!

If his stamina in bed was anything like his stamina for keeping his over inflated ego intact, the Earl would have been quite some lover. And in fact he was well known for a series of scandalous affairs, and it mattered little to him whether or not the lady was already married.

Were the Earl around today, he would no doubt approach the task of how to last longer sex as he did training for his men, nicknamed the ‘cherry bums’ for their  snugly tailored crimson colored breeches.

Discipline and training was firm and rigorous. In fact the Earl introduced some of the first military fitness training techniques for his recruits, both on and off a horse, and equipped them well.

The Earl would know that it is regular and repetitive practice that makes perfect, and that the enemy of a good lovemaking session is charging in too soon. Hold back, be patient, bide your time. If you feel the urge to bolt, stop the session and calm things down, get the breathing under control, get the mind relaxed, not over excited – and – a personal tip from the Earl, which may or not work, give a few tidy slaps to the saddle (buttocks) first. Well, times have changed so that particular piece of advice applied today could land you in hot soup. But then you never know!

You may never know the thrill of leading the cavalry into battle, but you can master the thrill of leading your own charge into a lovemaking session without retiring with your pride wounded.

Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

From the poem ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’, by Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1854

The brave young men of the British cavalry in the Crimean War would have lasted a whole lot longer had they not charged too soon. The Charge of the Light Brigade was a classic military blunder on the part of cavalry commanders at Balaclava on October 25^th 1854. They ordered the cavalry into what has become known as the valley of death. A misunderstanding between rival commanders Lords Lucan and Cardigan, meant they did not check what they were up against and consequently ordered a charge while surrounded on three sides by Russian cannons and riflemen. They paid a very heavy price with more than a third of the cavalry wiped out.

Fortunately, nothing quite so disastrous happens when you come too soon during lovemaking. But if you want to know the secret of how to last longer sex, you do not charge in with abandon and ride hard in the saddle like there’s no tomorrow, or you too could suffer the disastrous and humiliating consequences of being finished before your time.

Good quality lovemaking is not a charge, but a battle of love which has a beginning a middle and an end. The beginning is all about preparing the ground. The more you can stimulate and excite your partner prior to lovemaking, the more enjoyment she will derive from the act itself.

The middle, the point of penetration, is the part where many men make the mistake of just charging in. They then find themselves surrounded on all sides by the highly stimulating walls of the vagina. Unprepared for such a powerful assault on their senses, the charge invariably ends in early defeat and humiliation. Instead, you should pace yourself, co-ordinating your attack and carefully reigning in the troops until the final assault. If you do find yourself overpowered, there is no shame in calling a hasty retreat to regroup, change positions and charge again.

Only at the end, after sustaining vigorous bombardment of the senses, and when the woman is in complete surrender, should the final glorious charge be made. Follow these had won lessons from history and you will have earned yourself the reputation as a fine upstanding officer and a gentleman.